When facing with the problems of upbringing their children, many parents begin to think that their children are naughty. But where does this confidence come from?
Why the initial positive attitude, which was at the child’s birth, quickly extinguished and started to turn into heavy burden during work days, where parents take the role of supervisors for their children? In fact, in this case children are transformed into opponents who have to be pacified and imposed by the parent’s will.
What is good and what is bad? The formation of a new Personality.
In order to understand the reason of it, we need to review its components, which are not visible to the eye, but which are the fundamental concepts of our world. These are worldview concepts.To sound simple it is to understand what is good and what is bad. After all, it goes without saying that parents, who think they know how to act right or wrong, want to teach their children the same. But, generally, parents who rely on their experience are trying to help their children to live a better life than they do. At the same time parents neglect one very important point, that is what are the children themselves thinking about that. Does the child who is a new developing personality need it?
In the book of A.Novyh “AllatRa” is said:
“As a rule, in a consumer society, a person is inspired with certain attitudes from birth that the world is material and supposedly this is the only existing reality for humans. I have already said that our brain is organised in such a way that it adapts to various stereotypes very quickly, moreover, it will further be based on them until the person chooses some new ones. Hence, since childhood a man begins to build his life on the wrong settings and a one-sided view of the world from the perspective of the Observer from the Animal nature. He simply ignores anything that does not match to his settings and personal choice. He chooses a kind of very narrow life spectrum to percept the world and himself, without even trying to make it wider.
A child is not an enemy or a crutch, but first of all he is a Personality. Parents’responsibility.
Parents who think that their children are disobedient are wrong. In fact, children follow parental instructions very accurately. Honestly, many parents live satisfying their own selfish ambitions and do not notice what kind of instructions they give to the child. It often happens that a mom or dad are just too lazy to teach their kids and rely only on the kindergarten, school, TV, computer, etc. And when still it’s time for the parents to teach the child something they’ll likely say “You are still small to (drink, smoke, be rude …).” In fact, the true meaning of this sentence is: “The time will come, and you will have to (drink, smoke, be rude …). The children are trying to do it all at the age of 10, 13, 15 until, finally, that exact “mature time” comes. And it comes when the parents can no longer cope with it neither by force of conviction, nor physically. After all, when parents are prohibiting something, without realizing it, it is pushing children to action, because a forbidden fruit is sweet. And as the parents have little time for their children, it turns out that the only way for many children to draw attention to themselves is to commit an unworthy act. That is, for example, to get a bad mark at school, or break the glass of the window.
Therefore, when taking responsibility for children’s upbringing, first of all parents must all upbring themselves, their spirituality hence becoming a positive example of a spiritual and moral person. Otherwise, following the proposed model of behavior by the society and the parents, the kids are destined to repeat the same mistakes of previous generations.
When everyone is aware of the responsibility for their choice and its consequences, it will be easy to change the vector of the current situation in the society towards a creative development. Change yourself – and the world will follow your example.