Fathers and Sons – why there is no understanding?

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Age is a seasoned trickster. To our parents, we will always be children. Within ourselves, the same yearnings of youth; the same aspirations of adolescence, will last a lifetime. Only to the young – blinded by our grey hair and slowing gait – do we appear old and increasingly beyond the pale.

Alex Morritt

The subject, which I would like to discuss with you, my dear friends, somehow touches every one of us. Almost everybody has parents, someone is already married, and others have their own children. And far from always family relationships are formed in the best possible way for all its members.

The most common family situation is misunderstanding. As they grow older, children begin to realize that they have certain obligations at home, at school and towards others. And in their turn, parents make demands and want their answering. In this situation, you, as an outside observer, can understand both sides. Children experience personality development, they only enter upon life, they want to be independent and make their own decisions. Parents need obedience, as they work to provide for a family and spend their free time on childrearing. Both children and parents want to be respected, loved, listened to and understood. And here we can observe a collision of desires.

What is the reason for misunderstanding between parents and children?

The main reason for misunderstanding is a mutual self-interest. Both parents and children want attention, but do not like to be attentive to their dialog partners. And this applies not only to family relationships. Many people want to be loved, but they refuse to give love to others.

If we try to understand the notion of love, it will turn out that it is distorted or changed. According to modern dictionaries, this is either a devotion or an affection for a man. True love is a feeling, which encourages a person to give a hearty light, joy, happiness to the whole world, to help in difficult situations, and not to demand help. It is a feeling that one wants to share, rather than crying for it. This shows that a person has not got a basic understanding of who he or she is and why he or she lives in this material world.

The problem of man is that he does not want to work on himself, to produce real, spiritual Love on his own, the same Love that his Soul feels for God. After all, for the rapid spiritual growth of the Personality it is like a vivifying moisture for a ripening ear of grain. True Love is a generous inner gift, which one person presents to another because of an abundance of the deepest feelings. Such Love can be given when you forget about yourself. It is about this Love that they say that it is patient, forgiving, not envious, not proud, not self-seeking, and thinks no evil.

“AllatRa” by Anastasia Novykh

And rather than developing his- or herself, reading books and broadening his or her mind, a person makes claims to others. But is it right to do so, if a person, as a rule, does not follow his or her own advice?

And what is daily spiritual work on yourself? First of all, it is the habit of controlling your own thoughts and not judging other people’s thoughts. Man, as a rule, often notices manifestations of the Animal nature in another person. But one does not bother to pay equally careful attention to him- or herself, does not try to come to know his or her own reactions to internal and external provocations of the Animal nature, and does not find it necessary to work hard on him- herself in each day. Only by changing yourself internally and working on yourself, you can understand the real processes of the visible and invisible worlds and consciously walk the spiritual path. In other words, inner changes must be, first of all, in the person him- or herself – this is the meaning of his or her spiritual development! Everything else is secondary.

“AllatRa” by Anastasia Novykh

We often do not have a simple improvement of ourselves, our negative thoughts, words and actions. And we often lack of a simple dialogue when we share a dinner table and, as best friends, talk about life, as well as help a family having listened to each other sincerely and gently, without irritation and aggression…

How to reach an understanding? How not to raise an egoist in a family, and how to make away with one? These topics will be discussed in the next article …

Love with you!

To be continued…..

Author: Sergey Savin